I am one of those people that is touched by stories of humanity. The internet easily circulates those sort of stories. And I find myself touched by them. Maybe overly so, maybe creepily, stalkerishly so. It’s just so easy to use the internet to help your curiosity and nosiness. I have a very close friend where it’s hard to consider her a real friend in some ways, just because she’s 15 and I’m 23. However sometimes it’s really like we’re best friends and I can depend on her when there’s no one else. Sometimes I feel like it’s hard to trust her. Not in the sense where I can’t say things to her, but in the sense where I don’t necessarily believe her. But anyway, sometime last week or week before, I texted her about coming to the gym, and her response was very blunt. ‘I don’t think I can. My best friend killed himself last night.’ My heart sank. Generally, I’ve always been very aggressive towards suicides. In the last year or so I’ve lightened up some what. I know that it’s not socially appropriate to tell someone who just lost someone close to them, ‘They deserved it.’ I guess I still just find it hard to sympathize in most cases. Suicide, to me, is the most selfish act you could possibly commit. Don’t you think about your friends and family before you do it? My guess would be in at least 98% of cases of suicide, they have SOMEONE in their life that loves them and is affected when they are gone. And probably in more than half, they have a ridiculous outpouring of people who love them and care, so it’s insanely selfish. That’s why I’ve always been a bitch towards the news of a suicide. If they’re so selfish, then they deserve it.
But for some reason, when that friend of mine texted me. I felt very sympathetic towards the situation; before I even knew about it. That’s where the internet comes in, and facilitates the nosy stalker in me. I pretty much found out right away who it was. Facebook is disgusting like that. I think to some extent a death should be a private sort of mourning for friends and family. Maybe in some ways the internet also helps facilitate that. But at the same time, what if the family didn’t really want the whole world knowing this and that about this person?
Well, anyway. This whole thing has really inspired me. I don’t know if the inspiration will lead me to success or finality, but I’ll try. When certain opportunities to be helpful come along, I generally take them.
I hope to finish this book, and have it sell well. I’d like to be able to start organizations, or give funds to existing organizations on educating people. I’d like people to be educated about suicide and what it does to people. I’d like to educate people on equality. Teens and parents alike need to know that what they say or do can echo an eternity (not to quote Gladiator or anything, lol <3).I really don’t know much about what happened. But if this kid really was bullied because they were different, and said bullying may have had something to do with this kid killing them self… well that’s something that I find unacceptable.
I didn’t know you, but R.I.P Aiden.