So I was in charge of summer camp at work. In the first few days of the first few weeks I was there 12 hours a day often. It was draining, stressful, and exhausting. I decided in the beginning of the summer at some point that it would be awesome to go to my aunt’s house for a week with Eric at the end of the summer when the gym was closed anyway and I wouldn’t have to get covered. There’s a difference between relaxing and being bored. I didn’t want to take the time off work to sit around all day and play board/video games. We do that all the time. I wanted to pretend I was awesome and having a vacation.

It’s been an emotional struggle to give up that vacation. A few days ago I was talking to a friend who was going to go with us to my aunt’s house (my aunt passed away this past year and my niece has been ‘taking care of the house’ for 8+ months… don’t get me started). I guess in passing or something my niece told Ashley that the pool wasn’t clean. It kinda drove me nuts that my niece didn’t tell me the pool was cleaned. If we went to my aunt’s house (four hour drive) and the pool was not usable I would’ve been pissed.

So yeah, now there’s no vacation even though I’ve been planning on it since the beginning of the summer. Now I feel like I’m going to be a washed up, lazy, etc etc employee and person for the year cause I was here the entire time when normally I go away for a week for Nationals.



What You’ve Missed

Dear Emmie,
You have missed a lot and I am sorry for that. I guess it could be a good thing. A young girl often needs a diary because she is not comfortable telling her deepest secrets to someone else. Maybe it means I’ve been okay with the support system I’ve had? I don’t know. I sort of stopped my Emmie correspondence around the time Eric, Brandon, and Jimmy moved here. My boyfriend, my best friend, and another friend that ended up moving a few months into the new arrangement. The rest of us still live together although we live not in a town house but in a house my brother owns. His decision to buy this house rested solely on the agreement that me, Eric, and Brandon would live here. Then we brought on two of my other friends, Patrick and Nick.

It’s all been pretty great except that I’ve accrued a lot of debt from the whole adventure. At least I don’t cry about it every single night like I used to. At some point you just accept that it’s just too difficult to change and it will be a long time until your life resembles anything you dreamed of as a child. It’s one of those life lessons that no one can tell you and that you only learn from the heartache and struggle of going through obstacles yourself. It’s hard to tell someone, “Look, I’ve been there, you need to lower your expectations of your dreams and life in general.” More than that, how can you tell someone to try to adapt? To try to accept that things can be different and still be perfectly awesome? You can’t. They’ll either realize that or won’t.

Anyway, it’s really great to live in a house full of people whom love you. Not that my parents didn’t love me… But it’s different here. I have lots of psychological issues and I can have a break down at any moment. It’s pretty impressive to know everyone I live with would do anything to help me if they could. It’s not just the love though… We all mesh really well together. We all have the same interests, we do stuff together regularly. When you’ve lived you’re entire teenage years and most of your adult years on the internet it is remarkable to suddenly have friends. It sounds really sad but it’s completely different to have people you can hang out with all the time that don’t ditch.

Anyway, so the more recent crazy thing that happened to me is medical issues. Since December I’ve been sick off and on. More specifically in February colds turned into a diagnosis of a sinus infection. Then two more. Then my ENT said if it happened again I would need to get a CT scan. Got the CT scan, was told to go to a neurologist (keep in mind every one of these times going to the doctor is not just a copay, but a bill sent to me later). Neurologist put me on a medication called Gabapentin which is a nerve pain reliever and a week’s worth of steroids. For the first time in weeks I was pain free. Sadly the steroids were tapered and it started coming back. I was devastated. My mental state was deteriorating. I had suicidal thoughts regularly because it was so hard to be in pain no matter how much medication I took. I was diagnosed with cluster headaches.

I wasn’t supposed to go back until a later date. The pain was the same even on the Gabapentin. Of course during all of this Eric and I are both reading about stuff and trying to figure out what was wrong with me, and all about the medicine, and all that. I read from forums of other peoples’ experience that Gabapentin can take up to months to work all the way. So I have a job and stuff, so I don’t have time to be debilitated for a month more than I already had been. Long story short, lots of doctor visits, 5 weeks of continuous pain, CT scan, MRI scan, Eric dealing with me, etc later I have a ‘headache disorder’ called Hemicrania Continua. I hate that it’s called a headache disorder because I’ve had plenty of headaches in my life and nerve pain feels NOTHING like a headache. It’s a rare disorder that only rarely goes into remission and required medication for the rest of the sufferer’s life.

Anyway I am sick of writing and will write more tomorrow.



From The Ashes

Dear Emmie,
I am pleased that you have risen from the ashes of internet hogwash. I have no idea what happened and why your files were missing, and I am sorry. I have been pretty anti-computer as of late. Today has been the first day in months I have sat at a computer besides my work computer for longer than a few minutes. I sat here diligently trying to figure out why you were showing a blank white screen. I did figure it out and I have fixed you. You will have to deal with a boring layout for a while as I don’t have time or drive to make you look cool.

I think this was the biggest neglect thus far, about 2 years without posting? Pretty sad, kinda a waste of money, but janno. I will try to update you tomorrow on all the exciting happenings.


A fable

Once upon a time there was a forest full of cheerful animals. This community of animals was located in a forest of mumble trees called THE SHIT on the continent of internet. The animals were friends for a very long time and loved to play fantastical games together….

and then there was a fucking WoodzyOwl ate them all.

RSS Feeds – Everyone should use them

Hey guys,
My last post was an assignment for an English class. It was for practicing blogging practices. >_> Whatever, don’t judge me, it’s a business writing class.

Anyway… so I have recently found the wonder of RSS feeds. Now don’t look at me like I’m stupid, I’ve always known of them just never thought twice to how they worked. Recently I found the ‘subscribe’ button on my browser and it all kinda clicked for me (I know, 5 years late, right? xD) RSS is easy to use and it’s just awesome. I have RSS feeds for HTML/Design articles sent to my phone and my Thunderbird (Mozilla’s version of Outlook). It’s really awesome.

I don’t know how many of you guys do anything with RSS feeds but I strongly suggest them. You can even ‘subscribe’ to my blog ;) Aren’t you cool?! Anyway, regardless of school being really fast paced I seem to be getting 100% on every project and assignment. I got a 70% on a quiz in one of my coding classes. I was incredibly disappointed, but hopefully I can still at least get a B in the class.

I really want to have time to redesign emevas, but I’m not sure when I’ll be able to. I hope I can do it by the end of the year, but who am I kidding? I don’t have time for that. lol. I am going to be doing Dynamiteparents.com for one of my web design classes. I was originally going to redo quantumleotards.com, but the scope of that project is too big to finish in 4 weeks. I will eventually redo that site for my sister… but there are technology requirements for it that are beyond the time I have right now.

Anyway. I highly suggest using RSS feeds for your favorite sites! :)



Hey guys!
I’ve had a bunch of fans e-mailing me and posting on my Facebook about Comic-Con. I’m surprised they’re even asking me about it. I thought it was a no-brainer to go. Regardless, I decided it’s a good time to give my review on good ol’ Comic-Con. I’m sure you’re sitting there thinking that Star Trek conventions are the only pilgrimages us nerds make, however you’d be mistaken.

Robert Downey Jr. at Comic-Con 2012
Celebs are also regulars at Comic-Con, especially with the popularity of movies based off of comic books.

Comic-Con is has a smorgasbord of awesome that ‘our kind’ go crazy over.
Comic-Con offers exhibits, vendors, etc. for many genres; games, comics, anime, movies. It really is a celebration of these interests. The convention has grown considerably since it was a baby in 1970. Last year they had over 130,000 people from all over the world. Why are these people flocking there? It’s basically a huge party full of awesome people who share and/or respect the same interests.

One of the most entertaining parts of Comic-Con and other such conventions is the cosplayers. Cosplay is short for ‘costume play’ and is very popular with anime and game fans. These fans are so dedicated and put lots of time and money into making and buying costumes of their favorite characters. Many of them spend months making their own costumes until they are perfect down to the last button.

Well my lovely readers, I hope this gives you enough reason to check it out of you get the chance. Comic-Con generally runs in the summer and is out of San Diego, California, however there are specialty conventions for games, anime, board games, etc. Generally these conventions are big and small and run all over the world. Because these interests are usually closely linked some specialty conventions have stuff for the different genres as well.

Till next time!
If you need more information check out www.comic-con.org

!! !!! !!!!!!!


Eric: !

Me: !
I has a handsome hubby in my profile picture.
u jelly

Eric: !

Me: !
Let’s communicate via exclamation points.

Eric: i am handsome hubby


Eric: ! !!!! !! !!!! !!!

Me: I love to fuck you ?
! !!!! !! !! !!!!!! !! !!!

Eric: wow. You were so close.

Me: oh
want to fuck you

Eric: haha unbelievable

Laying in bed!

I love technology sometimes. Like… There’s an app for everything, including writing on my blog. But I’ve known that for a long time, but didn’t really bother with it until now. I’m really tired, want to go to bed, but at the same time want to wait until Eric is free so I can have my quick bed time talk with him! My problem solving for this was to post on my very neglected blog.

I really don’t think anyone reads ut anymore, and if anyone does, it’s news to me… But Emmie has helped me through so much and ifs there when I’m the most alone person in the world, so I really don’t want to stop paying. Anyway.

So, I’m nervous and excited about school that starts on Monday. I’m taking five classes and it’s a condensed semester, so I’m going to fucking die. But I’m taking computer classes which is really because I haven’t for a year and a half or something. Hopefully it’ll go well :)

Today I had an anxiety freak out because I parked crooked, was too close to the car on my right, tried redoing it multiple times, and my mom ended up redoing it for me, it took me like an hour and a half to calm down.

Work is kind of exciting because opportunities are presenting themselves to me, however it means I’m working my ass off in order to get these opportunities, which I actually probably feel better about life because it feels like it has more purpose since I’m actually am an asset to the company.

Eric is calling! Bye!

Lyxie blogs and stuff!